Motherhood: An Epic (Unfiltered) Adventure
Let's judge this beautiful chaos of motherhood, as a certified expert with 2+ years experience in this journey :)
Let’s rate motherhood!
Unlike other fields, the only qualification here is being a parent - and that’s good enough to qualify you as an expert. So I’m ready to judge this chaos, as a certified expert with 2+ years experience. Let’s do this!
What haven’t we signed up for?!
Never guessed I’d feel sorry for myself. When do "all the chores" actually end? Why do dishes just… multiply? Didn’t I just do laundry?? Do moms get more hours a day? And while I’m running this mental math marathon, I still manage to misplace my phone…… again? While I’m at it, my toddler’s adding more chores for me with his busy tantrums. The tantrums get more creative by the day - my son once cried for hitting me! (I consoled him while consoling myself)
And yet - all the kisses make the mess and the mental load fade away - the chaos is certainly worth it…
The endless loop with absolutely no breaks feels like running in a hamster wheel: monotonous, exhausting and predictably unpredictable. Managing the mental load with a balanced composure doesn’t happen naturally - it takes patience and constant adjustment. No one warns you about this before you sign up. You are truly never prepared for motherhood.
The Same-Same but Different conundrum
Before motherhood, you had steady companions: school friends, friends from the same neighborhood, roommates in college, peers with similar aspirations in life and colleagues. You realize the privilege of company when you enter motherhood. No one truly explains how draining and lonely it could get in this journey.
Sometimes we just assume motherhood has a universally shared script - pregnancy arcs, baby phases and diaper changes. But every postpartum path is wildly unique. The subtleties such as the pregnancy symptoms, birth stories and the recovery are where the differences lie. The surface level sameness that’s widely discussed hides the deep intricacies and differences of every journey. The isolation creeps as the chores are in loop, slowly making me lose the “me.”
The Emotional Balancing Act
We’ve come a long way in raising awareness around postpartum depression, but the quiet daily doses of loneliness, self doubt and guilt creep in and linger. There have been days when I felt guilty for not being grateful. I love my son and his joy, but yet there are days I ask myself “Am I enough?” I’m caring for someone else while trying to remember how to care for myself. I’ve slowly come to acknowledge all that I feel - proud and inadequate, connected while remaining lost.
Accepting this new self is a transformative journey - it’s a leveling, a letting go. You start observing yourself more quietly. The identity reshapes you.
Managing Identities
I was raised to be in control, and to excel. I’m sailing on unknown oceans - trusting that the tasks of everyday will happen eventually, or not, but I accept this in peace. I feel worn out but would gladly chase my son three times around the park. Parenting has stretched me into someone who is always tired - but never entirely tired. The paradox is interesting: always tired, never really done, always working, yet always making time, never fully exhausted enough to smile. How does this motivation keep flowing?
The energy basket for my toddler comes from someplace deeper, next to the basket in which the person I used to be naps. My capacity has no bounds.
A baby is all you need to tap the immense power you possess, that you’ve never made aware of, and the resilience and purpose to make things possible. The exhaustion slowly turns into inspiration. (Read: Have babies :))
Fitting in the Mom-fluencer Era
Although no one explicitly tells us how you navigate around motherhood, and what’s truly right or wrong, we often find ourselves at the mercy of social media. I see moms back in shape within 6 months postpartum, or super babies who sleep through the night (still sounds like a miracle to me!) and moms hiking with infants and I ask myself: Where do I fit? The unspoken pressure to “have it all” - family, career and family hits hard. The “Supermom” pressure creates an illusion of motherhood and its expectations.
And then it hits me - there is no universal “right” path. Defining your own motherhood gives freedom. And this freedom has its own quiet, yet strong power.
Why I’m Sharing- Reflections
Do I know much about motherhood? Not really. But I want to answer questions many don’t feel free to ask, and understanding feelings that are complex and hence ignored. This journey helps you look back at your own childhood. I‘m reminded of days when my mother needed breaks. “Time to go to the Himalayas!”, is what she would often say after a hard day of parenting me, needing her space after the exhaustion. As a child, I would often wonder what she meant when she said this. It was a happy day after all. Now I understand it’s the permission to feel everything at once: To be tired, yet smile anyway. And to do it with grace.
Crafting joy takes a lot of work, and we deserve moments of relief, recognition and rest to reset. The little things of everyday life all become precious reminders that yes, this is enough.
I’ve learnt that there is no need for perfect moms, only honest ones proud to feel every feeling!
I write this not only to share with fellow mothers, mothers to be or friends of mothers, but to myself - to remind me every time I read this that I’m doing great!
What I’ll be sharing soon
Want to read more honest stories on motherhood and the whirlwind of feelings involved? Here’s what’s coming soon:
Loneliness and community: Why every mom needs someone to say - “You’re doing great!”
Shifting identities: When “me” becomes “mom”
Handling the mom-fluencer pressure: Filtering the noise
Reconnecting with self: Slowly rebuilding the “me” behind mom
If you feel like you’re in a similar journey as mine - or if this is a story you need to honor - subscribe. Lets dive deeper into the beautiful mess of motherhood. The journey is richer when we all walk together.